All of this stock-market volatility makes my stomach churn. As if there’s not enough volatility in the world already.
I wonder how society will pay the doctor and hospital bills of the Boomer generation for the next 25 years? Will there be enough physicians? Enough beds? Enough diapers? Just send the bills to our kids.
Speaking of kids: I’m not exactly sure when the lines crossed, but my three kids now teach me more than I teach them. They think very well on their own, and they know a lot about life and parenting and how the world might work better. I listen carefully, because inevitably I learn something useful. They pastor large churches, start non-profits, raise kids with their spouses, and run small businesses on the side. It’s not enough that they’ve given us wonderful grandkids, but now I can quietly listen and learn. And I do.
Speaking of grandkids: They are one of life’s grandest gifts, to be sure, each one a unique little treasure that keeps on giving and enriching. I’m thankful beyond measure that I’ve lived long enough to receive such a bountiful blessing.
Speaking of living long enough: The recent helicopter crash that took 30 of our finest reinforces the truism that our freedom comes with a price. They were all dedicated and brave young men, their lives cut short and their families devastated over such a profound loss. We should be made better by their sacrifice.
Try as I might, I can maintain a salad diet for only one week, tops. Then it’s gotta be Mexican. Or Chinese. Or Italian. Or whatever.
I’m a Coca-Cola guy. Diet Coke, to be specific. I live in Atlanta, so Pepsi has absolutely no utility in my life. Not now, not ever. I ordered a Diet Coke and a banana split from room service several years ago, and the guy on the other end of the phone started laughing. Hey, a guy’s got his preferences, right?
Speaking of Atlanta: The summer Georgia heat has been brutal of late. Hi-90s in the shade. Could it be that Al Gore is right? By the way, Al, thanks for inventing the internet. Keeps me inside in the air-conditioned cool, ordering stuff from Amazon and monitoring the stock-market swings.
Kudos to the Atlanta Braves. We won’t likely catch the Phillies in the regular season, but we’ll get ‘em in the postseason.
That’s it for now.
Bye.
Thursday, August 11, 2011
Thursday, August 4, 2011
America in August, 2021
The Dow closed July at 4,512, up from June’s 4,314.
The U.S debt increased to $28 trillion, or 167% of GDP, at the end of Q2, 2021. Members of the Democrat, Republican, Tea Party, and Compassion Now! political parties reached agreement on the debt increase after a contentious debate.
The U.S and Greece entered into a trade agreement; terms and estimates weren’t immediately available.
The U.S. National Health Services announced that a Six-Sigma study concluded that senior citizens over the age of 66 years, 7 months, 6 weeks, who required orthopedic surgery, would henceforth be outsourced to Cuba. The NHS organ-transplant czar stated there would be no changes in the policy of outsourcing transplant surgeries to Thailand. An airline transport-shuttle contract was awarded to Baghdad Air.
Pakistan threatened a nuclear exchange with India over a border dispute. Iran warned the U.S to avoid intervention or risk Iranian nukes against all 50 American states and Puerto Rico. Puerto Rico responded that Iran would consequently risk a “full retaliatory response launched from San Juan.” Guyana threatened to nuke Suriname over the expanding drug war. The U.S. Secretary of Defense, at a press conference on the subject of proliferation, shrugged and said, “What do you want me to do, guys?”
College football players remained on strike for the 6th consecutive week. The College Football Players Association remained adamant that 20% of all athletic revenue be allocated for football players’ salaries, estimated at $188,000 per scholarship athlete. Women athletes are expected to sue. One prominent Southeast program said its athletes are unhappy with what they assert would be a serious cut in pay. “C’mon y’all, this is America!” signs appeared on campus.
Publishing news reflects the continuing migration to E-books. Only 1,700 hardbound books were sold in the nation’s 30 remaining book stores in June.
The Army plans to debut a new pink beret by Fall. The new headwear will be optional for Special Ops personnel.
Ford announced that its new 2022 model Colossus will be rated at 66 MPG with GPS, no-charge batteries, hands-free phone and texting, anti-theft warning identification with optional fragmentation devices, and armor plating for urban driving. Car loans at the prime rate of 13.75% are available for qualifying customers.
The TSA announced that it will no longer need any mechanical screening devices. “We can simply tell by looking at ‘em,” is the new advertised slogan. The TSA workforce has been augmented by employees of the now defunct postal service.
The Rolling Stones announced a new U.S. tour, beginning in November and sponsored by Viagra.
The U.S debt increased to $28 trillion, or 167% of GDP, at the end of Q2, 2021. Members of the Democrat, Republican, Tea Party, and Compassion Now! political parties reached agreement on the debt increase after a contentious debate.
The U.S and Greece entered into a trade agreement; terms and estimates weren’t immediately available.
The U.S. National Health Services announced that a Six-Sigma study concluded that senior citizens over the age of 66 years, 7 months, 6 weeks, who required orthopedic surgery, would henceforth be outsourced to Cuba. The NHS organ-transplant czar stated there would be no changes in the policy of outsourcing transplant surgeries to Thailand. An airline transport-shuttle contract was awarded to Baghdad Air.
Pakistan threatened a nuclear exchange with India over a border dispute. Iran warned the U.S to avoid intervention or risk Iranian nukes against all 50 American states and Puerto Rico. Puerto Rico responded that Iran would consequently risk a “full retaliatory response launched from San Juan.” Guyana threatened to nuke Suriname over the expanding drug war. The U.S. Secretary of Defense, at a press conference on the subject of proliferation, shrugged and said, “What do you want me to do, guys?”
College football players remained on strike for the 6th consecutive week. The College Football Players Association remained adamant that 20% of all athletic revenue be allocated for football players’ salaries, estimated at $188,000 per scholarship athlete. Women athletes are expected to sue. One prominent Southeast program said its athletes are unhappy with what they assert would be a serious cut in pay. “C’mon y’all, this is America!” signs appeared on campus.
Publishing news reflects the continuing migration to E-books. Only 1,700 hardbound books were sold in the nation’s 30 remaining book stores in June.
The Army plans to debut a new pink beret by Fall. The new headwear will be optional for Special Ops personnel.
Ford announced that its new 2022 model Colossus will be rated at 66 MPG with GPS, no-charge batteries, hands-free phone and texting, anti-theft warning identification with optional fragmentation devices, and armor plating for urban driving. Car loans at the prime rate of 13.75% are available for qualifying customers.
The TSA announced that it will no longer need any mechanical screening devices. “We can simply tell by looking at ‘em,” is the new advertised slogan. The TSA workforce has been augmented by employees of the now defunct postal service.
The Rolling Stones announced a new U.S. tour, beginning in November and sponsored by Viagra.
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